The Truth is …
Anyone that starts a sentence or story like that rarely shares honesty in the words that follow. Consider all the words above the ramblings of an anxious writer who isn’t sure how to reconcile with her words, basically all of reality.
What do you do when you wake up one day and find someone else staring back at you in the mirror. Your reasoning has shifted. The things that used to matter don’t anymore and those that do are new and unfamiliar. The life around bows to the reality of this shift, but your skin is still adjusting. In all these things, more than excitement, there is fear.
What do you do when you can’t confront yourself? You know, with everything in you, that if you allow things to unfold how they will, it is sealed. This is who you are now. The friends echoing your deepest truth is something that still surprises you. You have never had this, the support and acknowledgement; you never get used to it. You wake up one day, dream at hand, people behind you, truly, ready to do some holding and learning. You have an awareness of the journey ahead, scared and uncertain.
What now? You ask? Where to? You wonder. You knew you were headed somewhere when you started that journey to heal your inner child, but you did not expect that this is where it would lead you. Now you trust yourself more.
You know them better, the voices within. Not the ones that remind you how much you are failing and can do better at every turn. Not those that won’t let you rest and make you think you are undeserving; you know them.
Back then, you cast them aside trying to conform to whoever you needed to be, but now, since you embarked on this journey to self-love, they have become clearer. They walk with you as you seek your truth, knowing that the deepest essence is within you; the key to all you want.
It’s the softness of happy memories, times when kindness came into your life right before you gave up on yourself. It is the whisper of the moments you interrupted negative thoughts with a simple question, what if you were wrong? What if you were deserving and worthy of it all?
The voice that guides you in little ways, sometimes she takes the form of a nudge, to embrace your soul and follow the path that feels most authentic. I call her Magister, the teacher within, let me tell you about her..