I think about death a lot. It doesn’t scare me; it annoys me. I hate that it comes unannounced, that it takes people without discrimination on gender, age, sexuality, and whatever other thing people use to define themselves. It angers me because it has no consideration for the person it takes or those it leaves behind.
It irritates me in how it only focuses on the end goal. If there were something that fit a phrase perfectly, it would be death. To it, the end justifies the means. Whoever it hurts, however, whenever, and whenever, those things don’t matter.
I don’t fear death because it took my father. I survived that, so it doesn’t scare me; nothing could be worse than losing your favourite person, not even death itself. I flinch at the idea of
leaving this world before loving my people fully, for a long time, and in every way they need me to. I shudder at the prospect of dying a painful death; I have said this, time and again, I don’t like pain.
The thing is, while this final death doesn’t scare me, nothing cripples me more than the little deaths we experience every day. It’s the way our life casually ends and something new starts, and we have to live with it. It’s how you wake up with a job and go to bed without
one. It’s when you have a home and a family one minute, and the next, you are
sleeping on the street worrying about where the next meal will come from.
It’s when you have a loving spouse, and then they turn around and send you to the hospital. When you have a father, an uncle, a brother, cousin, auntie, friend, or whoever on Sunday, but on Monday, they are your abusers.
These little deaths are unpredictable, and you work your entire life trying to avoid them, but then, you are only human; you can’t foresee some things. You wake up every day and hope that the effort you put into protecting yourself and those you love, works. You hope that you
will be successful in everything you do.
The thing is, sometimes, you find yourself experiencing a little death. Unfortunately, like the final one, you can’t evade it. So, like a drowning person, you start kicking, trying to stay afloat for as long as possible. What you don’t know is that, your effort might cause you to drown
You are going to experience a series of little deaths through different areas of your life. If you are lucky, they happen one at a time. Sometimes, however, when it rains, it pours. Whether you are experiencing a storm or a light shower, you need to know how to survive it.
Always remember, these deaths are the end of what you know and the start of what you don’t. Luckily, the unknown is full of promise. It might be your gateway to living a limitless existence.
The Process of Resurfacing
When you are drowning, kicking doesn’t help, however, this doesn’t mean that you should not fight. The trick is knowing how to do it without putting yourself at risk. Play your fight song in the background and do everything you can to resurface. Here are some things that work;
1. Understand your situation as much as you can.
The first reaction when you realize you are drowning is to panic. It is crucial not to make any decisions in that state. Take a breather and look at the intensity of what is happening. Do you have a backup plan? Is there a chance to salvage the situation? Once you answer these questions, you can plan your course of action with awareness of what gives you the best chance.
The best way to ensure your perspective on the situation is not influenced by panic is taking time off. Take a minute or two and relax. Ease the pressure you have placed on yourself to solve the problem. Staying still could be the difference between making it to something better and drowning.
2. Ask for Help
The worst thing you can do for yourself when you are drowning is to act like you are okay. You treat your struggle like a secret that you would take to the grave, and that gives it power. Your dedication to hiding what is killing you creates a bond that will affect how well you can fight to resurface.
Find friends who will listen without judgement or questions and tell them what you are going through. Don’t be afraid to tell different people about diverse parts of your struggle if you feel the need. The point is to talk about it.
Also, seek a professional who will give you the tools you need to resurface.
Those people who write about death disagree on many things, but they have one thing in common; they all mention that people look back at their lives in the last moments. Maybe it helps them transition into the next one. Perhaps at that moment, all the wisdom, laughter, joy, love, and happiness become gratitude, and you take it with you to the journey.
When you find yourself drowning, try to look back. Reflecting on what your life, in a particular area, reminds you why you started; it shows you how far you have come, which, in turn, speaks to your capability.
Life is infinite; it is a series of journeys that help us transition into who we are, for the season we are in. All the endings you experience come with beginnings, and that is essential for balance. When you find yourself drowning or gasping for air, it depends on what death looks like to you; you need to remember that when one journey ends, another one starts. Accepting this is the only way to live a limitless existence.